Turnabout: Unfair Play
by Fay K. Naime
Summary: Iscariot finally finds a way to kill Alucard...but they didn't count on his Master. Is it finally time for Alucard to die? AxI, plot, One Shot.


Obligatory disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing or the Catholic Church. Neither do I own the Spear of Longinus. Yet. I make no money from this, ergo, if you try to sue, I will rip out your throat.

* * *

"Belfast is _my _territory! How dare Iscariot intrude?" Integra banged her fist on the table, her lips forming a silent snarl. 

"Sir, they _always _intrude, even in England proper. Give them a finger, and they will try to take the arms off your _next _generation." Walter sounded resignedly grim.

"Perhaps the "Northern" part of "Northern Ireland" confuses them?" asked Alucard, amused. "Your human territorial squabbles are so very amusing. You see an intrusion, I see another chance to do battle with filth."

"Nobody solicited your opinion, Alucard."

"Sir Integra, I would direct your attention towards this report," said Walter, pointing to a paper on Integra's desk. "We may have a bigger problem with Iscariot than a simple overstepping of boundaries."

"Yes, I noticed that. Are you sure there was no anomaly? It _was _Belfast, after all. No illegal explosives?"

"No, Sir. The area has been scoured, every bit and piece of rubble analyzed with the field spectrometer. Nothing indicates explosives, combustion _or _the fact that vampire-ash was littering the area less than five minutes before the analysis."

"There must be some other explanation. I cannot, I _will not_ believe that the Vatican'slabs have perfected the Spear of Longinus."

At this, Alucard eyes glowed for a moment behind his customary sunglasses. "Not _the _Spear, surely."

"Of course not," snapped Sir Integra. "We all know that the original spear was lost from the Bibliotheque Nationale during the French revolution. We also know that while crucifixes and crosses have no affect on vampires, the Blood of Christ is a different thing entirely."

"You mean the catholic Eucharist, Sir Integra?" Asked Ceres, who had so far been sitting quietly in the corner.

"Not _that _tepid approximation of 'holiness'," drawled Alucard, his voice dripping with contempt. "I mean the _real _blood of Christ, the Red Sacrament, the drops of molten fire th…"

"Enough! Now is not the time for a history lesson. Policegirl, all you need to know is that through some dark machinery, the likes of which the Vatican calls anathema in daylight, _may, _and I repeat, _may _have been used to create a weapon we have been hearing about for almost a century. A super-weapon, if you will, whose lightest touch will destroy _any _vampire."

"Of course," said Alucard, his voice without expression for once, "Section XIII has me to thank as muse. It was _my _presence, _my _immortality, that tempted them to delve so deeply into the darker artistries of death."

"But what _is _this sorcery, Sir Integra?"

"We do not know – nor do we know that they have perfected the weapon. From the sheer outrage that rippled out of Iscariot in 1993, when they discovered that the 'artifact' at the Hofburg Treasure House in Vienna was a fake, I suspect that it has something to do with our Lord's Holy Blood. That is why the first Christian vampire hunters carried crucifixes carved from the original Holy Cross. _Those _were soaked with His essence. Am I right, Alucard?"

Alucard grinned silently, displaying his fangs. "As always, Master. But wood, holy or not, does not last for two thousand years, especially not under the strenuous use it is put to in the service of a vampire hunter. You will find, Policegirl, that a True Cross could cause certain difficulties…even for us."

"You mean like the Paladin Anderson's blessed blades?"

"A few more difficulties than that."

Integra snorted. "Whatever the case, I do not what this "Spear of Longinus" problem to go uninvestigated. Powerful as the weapon may be, I do _not _want it in the hands of the Vatican – even if it has to be destroyed."

Walter nodded his head sagely, as Ceres gasped in surprise. "But…but if it contains the blood of Christ, surely it a holy thing! _Can _we destroy something like that?"

"I am hoping that it does not come to that. But remember, Officer Victoria, that weapon was created for one purpose, and one purpose alone! To Destroy Your Master!" By her last word, Integra was shouting, her suited form towering over the table.

"Yes…yes, Sir."

* * *

"Three. Three drops. What do three drops give us, Dr. Consolmagno?" 

"Two tests, Padre, and one chance."

"You have confirmed that chance?"

"Oh yes. The Blood of Christ will finally sanctify that heretical house that calls itself Hellsing. The nosferatu will no longer even be dust, his memory to live on in nothing but American film."

"Good. Very good, my son. But I still have reservations."

"You _doubt _my work?"

"No. Rather, I doubt the agent we have chosen to perform this holy task for us. He is the best we have, but his emotional instabilities make a mockery of the word 'stealth'. He has been unsuccessful before."

"_That _is not my problem."

"Of course not, Dr. Consolmagno. Tell me, if this 'one chance' we have does not come through, can you make more Spears, a few years down the road?"

"Never again, Padre. I told you before we started. The cloned blood, though indistinguishable in every physical aspect, is utterly useless. So unless you have a few more phials hidden away, one chance is all you get. You really don'thave any more?"

"How much of Christ's blood do you think is lying around, Doctor? The amount you had available was the result of _centuries _of patient work. Did you have to use so much in testing?"

"You want perfection, you have to pay for it. How can we design something if we cannot test? I have given you what you asked for, and more, using no more than two drops of blood. No other geneticist would even dreamof being able to harvest enough material from that. My responsibility was the blood, and the delivery vector. The mission is in your hands, and God's."

"Do not presume to take that tone with me, _Doctor. _Remember that you live by the charity of the Church, and nothing else. As for the mission, it will succeed. The abomination is not in the habit of dodging bullets, I doubt he will feel a need to dodge this."

"Actually, as our tests have proven, the vampires are incapableof even a twitch, let alone acrobatics. Your agent _will _be accurate?"

"Of _that _I have no doubt."

* * *

Dark footsteps echoed in the moonlit corridor. The guttural sound of feeding ghouls echoed in the distance, while the more sinister silence of a vampire's presence hung closer at hand. 

A red hat, coat, a form wrapped in shadows, materialized from a stone wall for a moment. "Now, you die!" maniacal laughter rang around the enclosed space, followed by the deafening sound of a single bullet being released. The clink of a casing hitting the floor was loud in the silence after the gunshots as an unseen, unfelt wind stirred a man-shaped pile of ash.

"And that will be the fate of _all _vermin that cross the path of the Hellsing Organization." Satisfaction and bitter disappointment vied for dominance in Alucard's voice.

The footsteps faltered, for a moment, and then were renewed at twice their previous speed. A low sound, of a voice mumbling in the darkness, was heard. The red hat snapped towards the direction of the sound.

"Ah! It's the ineffectual catholic lab-rat. Glad you could join us, Paladin! Though my master will _not _be pleased by your presence."

"Your heretical master will find many more things to be displeased about very soon, beast of Satan!"

"Well at least your arms regenerated, catholic. It would be rather embarrassing for the Iscariot Organization if you had to resort to chewing my legs off. What have you brought me this time?"

Alucard was answered by a swirl of holy writ. "_Sed libera nos a malo_!" Casually, a gloved hand snatched one of the papers from the air.

"Your skills, Paladin Alexander Anderson, are more suited to the Jehovah's Witnesses than they are to a Catholic avenger. You are not welcome here. You have no authority to be here. Leave, and don't knock at England's door again." Sir Integra voice was stiff with authority and outrage. "Leave!"

"Not before I cleanse the Earth of this abomination!" Triumphantly, the regenerator drew something silvery from the folds of his long coat. With a gasp, Alucard dropped to his knees, bloody sweat breaking out on his forehead. Integra stepped forward, squinting towards the object held in the Catholic's hand.

"Alucard?" _Alucard! What is wrong!_

_Master…_His mental voice was faint, as if straining under some great weight. _Run from here, Master. He brings a weapon more potent than anything in your arsenal. Run, and deal with this with the entire strength of the Hellsing Organization behind you._

_More than a third of the strength of the Hellsing Organization is on its knees in front of me, Vampire. Get up!_

"And the Blood of Christ will cleanse the Blood of the Earth!" With a scream, Paladin Anderson ran towards the immobile, kneeling, form of the vampire. "Die, Minion of Lucifer!"

_Get up!_

_Not this time, I'm afraid._

The Paladin's hand released the object, a narrow, thin silver cylinder with a sharp blade on one end. It was as if all time began to move in slow motion as three pairs of eyes tracked the end-over-end flight of the hand-thrown projectile. _I have already lived out my afterlife. _The amused thought ran through the vampire's mind. _I wonder what will happen next?_ Alucard's glasses fell away, his crimson eyes focused, rapt, on the glinting death flying towards him. Then, Integra moved.

_Master!_

_I know you don't want to die tonight, Alucard._

The Spear of Longinus slammed into Integra's back, shielding the prone form of Alucard, spider-like protrubences snapping open to drive the blood-carrying nanite vectors into her flesh. Then all she felt was time returning to its original speed as she slammed into the floor, and as if from far away, the snarls of a vampire going berserk.

_

* * *

Alucard! ALUCARD! _Integra stood in a green field tinted with the last dying rays of the sun. She seemed to be alone, dressed in a more casual version of her regular green suit.

_Master. I am here. _Predictably, the vampire appeared right behind her, not half a foot away. _You dream. _

_What happened? I remember blacking out._

_I ripped that…thing…limb from limb. _Alucard's mental voice quivered with remembered rage. _He will not be showing his face here for some time to come._

_Good. I must get back to work. The paperwork must be piling up by now. I assume Walter is handling things?_

_Yes. And you will not be waking up for a while – the doctors administered a full anesthetic. They had to perform some rather experimental surgery to ensure that the last of the nanites were removed from your system._

_Nanites? How damnably simple. And clever. With nanite vectors to ensure delivery, they wouldn't need more than microscopic quantities of His blood._

_Indeed. And they don't have any more. Even a catholic will squeal, given the right incentives._

_What do you do to him? _Asked Integra curiously. For a split-second, the peaceful landscape around them twisted into a nightmare. Then it returned to normal.

_I'll give you the details later, Master. First, I have a question. Why did you save me?_

_Well it was quite logical, really. The Spear was meant to destroy a vampire, not a human._ Integra's reply was a little too rushed, too glib.

_You know what I think, Master? I think you had no time to make a _logical _decision. I will ask again - why did you save me?_

_Nobody harms _my _vampire._

**_My_**_vampire…_neither knew who moved first. But lips to lips, body to body, mind to mind, the human and vampire were crushed together in a kiss of indescribable sweetness. For untold moments whose number neither Integra nor Alucard cared to count, they stood there, arms wrapped around the other. Finally, their lips parted, but neither stepped back.

"I dream, Alucard," whispered Integra gently into his ear. A long tongue reached out to gently lick the tear glittering at the corner of her eye. "So I can say, in a dream, that imagining a world, imagining Hellsing, without your presence, was an exercise in unbearable sorrow."

"And so you saved my wretched life at what could have been the cost of your own. Ah, beloved, you do dream, and so I do _this_." Once again, Alucard claimed Integra's lips, as her fingers clutched roughly at his hair. Suddenly, inexplicably, Integra's feet began to slide back. The landscape behind her shifted, subtly, and then with more violence, collapsing into a portal ringed with purple and black.

_Alucard! _

The vampire looked down at his empty arms for a moment, and then looked up at the sapphire eyes of his master. Sorrowfully he spoke to her rapidly retreating form. _You wake, Master._

_But I do not _want _to wake. Yet._ Desperate longing, a sinking, wrenching feeling of helplessness shot through Integra._ Alucard! ALU…_

* * *

"…CARD!" The hoarse cry still reverberated through Sir Integra's bedroom as she was brought abruptly to complete wakefulness. Sweating, she sat up, her eyes focused on nothing before her, a twinge of pain in her back reminding her of the grasping and cold metallic claws of the Spear of Destiny. 

"Master. You called." The form of Alucard coalesced besides Integra's bed. Using the last remnants of the intimacy that had bound them in the dream, he put his hands around her.

The sobs started low at first, and then increased in volume and violence as Integra's desperate cries rose from the silent, secret depths of her soul. "How could I?"

"Only a dream, Master," comforted Alucard, his arms still holding the sobbing figure of Integra.

"I am Hellsing." By sheer force of will, Integra had brought her emotions under rigid control again. She pulled back from Alucard's embrace, and he let her go.

"Only a dream, Miss Hellsing." The room was dark, and so Integra could have missed the two streams of blood running down Alucard's face. But it must be noted that a Hellsing is trained to the smell of blood. Integra raised a hand to touch her vampire's cheek, but the fingers curled into a fist as if of its own accord. _Only a dream. _The vampire faded from the room.

_Turnabout is unfair play.

* * *

_

_-Fin- _


End file.
